I am writing this email with the intent to introduce myself as a student in your Technical Communication 1 class. My name is Kenneth Wee, a Year 1 student at Singapore Institute of Technology, pursuing a degree in Telematics. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a Diploma in Electrical and Electronic Engineering, specializing in Computer and Communications.
I have had an interest in engineering and technology topics since young, influenced by my father and brother who are both engineers. As the world of technology advances, people of all ages are also progressively becoming more tech-savvy. This makes me feel that the demand for engineers and IT experts will thus increase exponentially, which is the reason why I decided to pursue Telematics, as it provides both electrical engineering and computer science skills.
Regarding my communication skills, I feel that I am unconfident speaking to large groups, hence I tend to speak quickly and emphasize less on some key points that I would have liked to explain in further details.
However as for my communication strengths, I tend to be a good listener, and if there is something that my friends did not manage to catch or understand from the speaker, I can effectively relay the message to them if necessary.
My goals in this communication module are to gain more confidence in speaking and to improve my presentation skills. I also hope to learn to communicate better with my peers to prepare myself when I start working after graduating from university.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to learn more about your students! I look forward to attending your interactive classes in the upcoming weeks.
Yours Sincerely,
Kenneth Wee
Hi Kenneth! Great Content! I manage to learn more about ur goals and insights for the future. My advice would be to use better verbs in ur sentences, some of the ones u use don't fit.
ReplyDeleteHi Kenneth. Good content. You explained well why you chose the course and I think that being a good listener is essential to clear communication.
ReplyDeleteDear Kenneth,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this informative letter. You've followed the model presented in class closely and produced a fluent letter that addresses the task requirements with quite a bit of detail and good clarity. I really appreciate your explanation of the genesis of your interest in telematics and the scope of your comm skills strengths and weaknesses.
In terms of module goals, you mention the aim of improving your presentation skills and communicating with peers, which I assume includes language use. In that regard, you need to review the following:
1. sentence structure
-- I feel that I am unconfident speaking to large groups, hence I tend to speak quickly and emphasize less ... > (comma splice: see https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-splice/ )
2. verb use
-- I tend to be a good listener, and if there is something that my friends did not manage to catch or understand from the speaker, I can effectively relay the message to them if necessary. > (verb tense effectiveness) I tend to be a good listener, and if there is something that my friends do not manage to catch or understand from the speaker, I can effectively relay the message to them if necessary. (Do you understand why this is more effective?)
3. some issues with capital letters
-- pursuing a degree in Telematics.
-- to pursue Telematics,
-- Yours Sincerely,
see https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp
These are fairly minor issues which should not overshadow all you've done well in this letter.
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad